How to Deal with Divorce
Divorce hurts for most people at first. A divorce lawyer cannot erase those feelings, but can explain the process, give hope that things will get better, and help you accept a new reality and make the best of a life-changing transition.
01 The Emotions of Divorce +
Divorce hurts for most people at first. Divorcing spouses feel grief, anger, fear of the future, worry about how their children will be affected, loss of net worth, and sometimes heartbreak and betrayal.
A divorce lawyer cannot help with most of those feelings other than to explain the process and give hope that things will get better and are not as bad as they seem.
02 Accepting a New Reality +
Attorney Greg Enos, after being divorced himself and after representing many hundreds of clients over 39+ years, shares this advice with his clients: divorce requires each spouse to accept a new reality he or she may not like or want.
A wife may not want a divorce or a husband may be heartbroken by his wife’s affair and decision to leave for another man. One spouse may not think it fair to lose 50% (or more) of a retirement account. A parent may hate the idea of seeing a child only 43% of the time.
Each of the spouses in the examples above must cope with their feelings, begin to accept a new reality, and make the best of the life-changing divorce.
Even spouses who want a divorce to escape abuse, control, addiction, inattention or narcissism still worry about their futures, their children, and even the husband or wife they want to divorce.
03 Practical Coping Strategies +
Attorney Greg Enos recommends to his clients that they:
- Be positive and do the right thing — do not give in to anger or bitterness and do not react to your spouse’s bad behavior with bad behavior of your own.
- Exercise.
- Surround yourself with positive friends and family who will support you.
- Get counseling with a mental health professional, such as a Licensed Professional Counselor. Divorce is one of the most traumatic events a person can go through, so it makes sense to find a professional counselor to help you deal with the emotions and worries. No lawyer or judge will ever think that seeking counseling is a sign of weakness or a bad thing.
- Educate yourself about the law and the divorce process and be involved with your case and your legal team. Knowledge will help you feel in control.
04 Building a Path Forward +
Remember, divorce sucks. Your attorney can only make it suck less. Eventually, you have the power to make the divorce a positive development by how you react to it and how you chart a path to a healthy, happy future.